The feeling when you give up. That great disappointment that you feel because the effort you gave to the task wasn’t good enough. Ha, I’m currently feeling all that right now. If I can’t pull myself back together, I’m afraid I’m going back for medication.

Medication isn’t something I’m embarrassed about. It is something I want to tell the whole world. I want the whole world to know that I’ve become like this because of how messed up it is!

WOW! DIS-AP-POINT-MENT-SSSSSSSSS.

Imagine yourself trying to swallow food.

At first, the word ‘disappointments’ appear easy to chew

But as you place it in your mouth; you suddenly realize that it’s hard to chew. (This is the part when you realize that disappointments are not easy to avoid. You realize the effects disappointments have on people. You realize how much effort you need in order to avoid the disappointments from happening.)

And when you got so overwhelmed with the consequences and effects of disappointments, you start chewing so hard to make sure that it will not hurt when you attempt to swallow the food.

But unfortunately, as you swallow what you have chewed, you realized that it wasn’t chewed as well as you thought it was chewed and it hurt a lot when you swallowed it.

MY POINT IS,

What’s done it done and no matter how much you prepare yourself so that you can avoid something bad from happening, you have no guarantee that bad thing won’t happen.

Sometimes no matter how much effort you put in, you’ll find yourself saying ‘my effort wasn’t enough’ in the end.

THIS happens to me every single time.

And although it hurts to just watch what could have been rightfully mine be given to someone else..

THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT.

But you know what? I am not giving up.

Well yeah, maybe I didn’t get what I was aiming for..

So from now on, I am FIGHTING HARD for what I want.

There will a chance for me to lose the fight..

But still in the end.. I want to be able to say

“I fought well. I did my best.”

SO THREE-EXPRESS-ONE, THE CHALLENGE IS ACCEPTED.

AND DEAR BOYS, THERE’S NO CHANCE YOU’LL BREAK MY HEART AGAIN. NO GUY DESERVES MY TEARS.

BOOKS BEFORE BOYS.

Labels: 3E1, boys, break, disappointments, expectations, heartbreak, love, school, stupid, tears